I'm never home
Sentimentality can be destructive. But I'm slowly learning how to make it work for me.
I'm a half-half - I have Arab blood and English blood. I have lived in London and Damascus, and I could never live without either of them. I consider them both as home.
When I'm in one, I miss the other like mad. But the two cities affect me in very different ways. Doing the LHR-DAM journey fills me with joy in the beginning, before London slowly works its way back into my thoughts.
Travelling in the opposite direction puts me into a trance which lasts weeks. I mourn my distant lover. I look forward to the night. Because in the night I sleep. And in my sleep I dream. And I can be sure that at least every two days Damascus will appear in my dream. It may not always be a good dream, it may even be mundane and dull. But at least it is a dream of Damascus.
After a few weeks, I start to live for London again.
It's just about reached that time where I'm getting excited about being in London. I've got a ton of things I want to do here: a Yemeni film festival, a Yemeni architecture exhibition, watch the Yacoubian Building (yes, yes, I still haven't seen it), see a screening about Algerian Jews, and go to the Arab Freedom Concert, get a pile of books from SOAS, and track down some Syrian DVDs.
You can often tell where I am by the nature of my posts.
When I'm in Damascus there are things I crave about London. SOAS, cinema, shopping, organisation.
In London I miss something more sensually fundamental about Damascus. Smells, sounds, tastes, views.
London is my friend, Damascus is my lover.